Devotion & Desire
by emilyannexx
Summary: Marching Band. Devotion and desire are key to the success of a marching band. But as we all know drama, love, friendship, and even hatred can come along with marching band. Join Madison, a member of the colorguard, on her journey of this fantastic sport.
1. one

Okay, so I would really love to know what you think of this, because right now I'm not sure where I exactly want to go with this. Like, I do...but I don't. So please review and tell me what you think.

Oh, I don't own the title 'Devotion & Desire.' That would be a sond by Bayside. [who I suggest you listen to. This song is awesome. Both on the Bayside album and on the Acoustic album :D

emilyanne.

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Devotion & Desire

Chapter One:

To say the least, band camp at the stadium parking lot in ninety-some degree weather…well it wasn't exactly the ideal place where you wanted to spend your last few days of summer. And you didn't exactly want to be there doing run-throughs one after another because the tenors couldn't keep tempo…

"One more time, guys!" Mr. Wilson, the high school band director, yelled from his spot in the stands where he was watching his band.

They groaned and trudged back to their beginning set. It's not that the Marching Zephyr Band was lazy or anything…they worked more than any band in their area to keep their state champion title. But doing more than two run-throughs was like a slow painful death.

Madison got up from the ground and turned to Jenni, one of her fellow guard members. "This is such bull…make the percussion stay late, don't effing punish us all just because the tenors can't keep a tempo!" She said as she put down her flag and picked up her sabre from the ten yard-line.

"Well, I mean…what are we going to do? Protest?" Jenni said before she ran do go get her rifle for the beginning number.

"To the ready!" Mr. Wilson yelled once more. Madison shook her head just walked back to her spot slowly…making half of the band watched.

She reached her set and hit her beginning pose with the rest of the weapon line.

"Mad…you do know that you have your sabre and not your rifle right?" Nikki, a second-year junior told her.

Madison shrugged and began to chasse as the music started.

They band reached the second number…and then realized that Mr. Wilson had stormed down the stands and towards them. He went over to the drum major, Crystal Martin, and instructed her to stop them, which she did.

Mr. Wilson got onto the podium and scratched his head…he was frustrated. He began to speak…but stopped. Then he started again. "What more do I have to do for you guys? You do realize it's the last day of band camp, you start school tomorrow, and the first football game is four days away? Give me the whole 'I'm tired' excuse. Guess what? We're all tired. I'm tired. The marching staff is tired. The rest of the staff is tired too." He stopped and motioned for us all to get up to the podium so he could talk to us more in depth.

Madison walked over towards Nate, a tenor player whom she was interested in and he was interested in her…but everyone knows what drama comes with band relationships, especially a guard/percussion match. They sat down in front of the timpani's with Jenni.

"I just don't know what else do to. I'm doing my job…this unit can only be great if you guys choose for it to be. That means working on tempo at home, guard members practice before or after they come here and at home, instrumentalists working on their music when they have a chance. All I know is that is if things are going to continue this way…there is no way I'm putting you out on that field on Friday, I don't care that it's the group we barely beat last year, if anything that's a better reason to keep you off the field. Practice is six-nine tomorrow. Come prepared. And remember, it's easy to be good, but to be great is a…"

"Choice…" The band mumbled in response.

Mr. Wilson shook his head. "That's my point. Go ahead and get home now."

They got up, and without bothering to talk to anyone, Madison picked up her rifle and threw it and her saber to her flag bag not really caring if anyone was walking in the area. After all, how hard is it really to avoid flying objects like that in the air.

"Mad, don't be like that," Jenni said laying her stuff by her bag that was sitting next to Madison's. "There's nothing you can do…this is how practice is every year." Jenni uncapped her bottle of water and offered a sip to Madison.

Madison shook her head no and picked up her equipment bag and her bag that held all of her other things (mainly electrical tape, past indoor drill sheets, her current 'dot' book and pencil, and her performance makeup, along with other miscellaneous objects.) And started to walk back to the high school by herself.

Nate looked at Jenni confused, and ran after her…but ran back and picked up his drum sticks. "Madi! Wait!"

Madison didn't bother to turn around…and kept on walking…unconsciously slowing her pace for him to catch up. Not that he needed for her slow down, he was in great shape (having to run numerous laps around the field for getting in trouble helped.)

"You didn't wait," He said, taking her equipment bag from her.

"You caught up, didn't you?" Madison said, still not looking at him.

"That's not the point, Madi. What's wrong?"

"What's wrong? What's wrong! I'm so sick of having to do things twenty billion times because everyone else is messing up. And then nobody says something to and instrumental section when they mess up, no, they get praised for what they did right. It makes me mad…beyond mad, how the guard gets in trouble for the littlest stuff, and we get no credit for the hard work we put into it…" Madison stopped walking and looked at Nate. "Nate…I didn't mean that. I love band, this is how it works every year. Why am I getting so frustrated now?"

"It's the end of band camp, everyone's sick of it…you just show you're tiredness differently. Just think, our first football game is on Friday, it'll be great. And then we start competitions. Once you get onto that field in front of everyone…all of these feelings will go away." Nate said taking her other bag and handing her his drumsticks.

"Yeah…I guess you're right. I just…ugh! Can we go home? I just want to collapse in your car or something…"

Nate laughed. "You want…to collapse in my car. You make it seem like we just had a five hour practice and did nothing but run-throughs."

Madison stared at him. "Uh, Nate…we did just have a five hour practice full of run-throughs…I should be allowed to collapse. What? Don't you want me passing out in your car?"

"Today's practice wasn't all that hard, Madi, you're over exaggerating it." Nate said looking straight at her, as Jenni walked up to them.

Madison glared at Nate and looked over at Jenni before she turned and once again headed towards the high school.

Nate's step-brother, Mark, who was also a member of their staff, came up behind them. "What's up with Madison today? She's normally not this much of a drama queen."

Nate looked at Mark and rolled his eyes. "I think we all know that…she's frustrated…did she say anything else to you, Jenni?"

Jenni shook her head. "Something about the tenors not being able to keep tempo…but that was nothing important."

"Real funny, Jenni," Nate told her. And then ran up to Madison. "What did I do?"

"You shouldn't even have to ask me that, Nate. We just had a conversation about this. Sometimes…it seems like you don't even care about what I have to say. But no, we're back to this whole not getting respect thing…and I didn't even expect it from you."

"Madi, I was kidding. You know that…or you should."

"Yeah…sure. Look," She turned to look at him. "Can we just go home now?"

"If that's what you want," Nate said looking at her. By that time Jenni had caught up and they continued to their cars.

"Well, I'll see you tomorrow…at school, yuck," Jenni said getting into her car.

"Don't remind me," Madison mumbled as she opened the passenger door of Nate's car as he put her bags into the back of his car.

"Just think…me and you have two years left…Jenni just gets to be lucky and have one. It's better than being a new freshman." Nate laughed.

"Yeah…that really helped," Madison rolled her eyes and smiled at Jenni. "Tomorrow. Me, you, band room. Okay?" Jenni nodded her head and left with a wave.

Nate made a gasping noise. "And what about me? You're going to leave me in the dust?" He said dramatically.

"Silly, you're taking me to school, remember?" She shook her head once again. "It's getting late. Get me home."

"Yes sir…I mean mam."

"Haha. You think you're funny don't you…just wait." Madison closed the door and put her seatbelt on as Nate climbed in.

"I am funny, you just don't realize it yet, Mads."

"Uhh…whatever you say Nate."


	2. two

Okay, so I went ahead and posted the second before I finished the third. And I'm thinking of regretting that right about now. So I really hope that I'll have the third chapter up by the end of the first week in Febuary...maybe. My excuses which aren't really excuses my course choices for next year are due on Friday, next week in finals, then new classes...first indoor competition on the 26th of this month (January), therefor making me have guard practice every Wednesday and Friday.

:D

Anyway, I hope you like it...

emilyanne.

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Devotion & Desire

Chapter Two:

September 2nd. The first day had came really fast. It had seemed like only yesterday was the first day of mini-camp, and the rookies were still eighth graders, not freshman.

Nate honked the horn, hoping that Madison was running late, only to see her sitting on her porch drinking a cup of coffee.

Madison looked over at the car and picked her bag up before walking slowly over to the car. She opened the door and sat down in the passenger seat. Madison put her cup in between her legs and put her seatbelt on. Madison looked over at Nate for the first time that morning. "Are you going to drive, or are we just sitting in my driveway all day?"

Nate put the car in reverse and backed out of the driveway. "About last night, are you okay?" He asked.

"I was just frustrated," She sighed. "I really didn't mean to take it out on you…or Jenni. It just makes me mad, you know?"

"Yeah, I know what you mean," He told her as he turned on the radio, hoping to lighten the mood. "Are you sure that's all? I mean, is it only band?"

Madison looked at him then out the window watching the rain drops start to fall. "No," She whispered, mainly to herself, yet audible enough that Nate could hear it.

"Liar," He said, turning on the windshield wipers.

"Yeah, you know what? That's not all. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of the drama, and the fake friends. I'm tired of people pretending that they know me and people talking about me behind my back."

Nate reached over and grabbed her hand, then looked at her for a second before having to go back to watching the road. "Mads, they don't matter. Don't worry about anyone else's problems besides yours. And you know Jenni will always be there for you."

Madison watched out the window for the last five minutes before they reached the high school parking lot, thinking to herself and not thinking about Nate holding her hand.

Nate pulled into a parking space, releasing Madison's hand so he could turn the car off.

Madison got out, grabbed her bag and looked at Nate as he got out. "And what about you, Nate?" She asked him as she slung her bag over her should and closed the door.

Nate watched her walk away and hit the hood of his car, cursing incoherently under his breath.

He slammed the door, turned around and saw one of his best friends (and a snare drummer in the band), Derek Bailey, heading over in his direction.

Derek looked at him and nodded over towards the direction Madison headed.

"Man, I don't know," Nate told him and started walking. "Tell me, why do girls have to be so complex and confusing."

"If I knew the answer to that question, do you think I'd be working at a small pizza place and in the place we call school?"

Nate laughed half-heartedly. "How about this question. What have I done wrong?"

Derek shrugged his shoulders as they walked up to another group of guys that were laughing at a joke…most likely some perverted one.

"Ayee, Nate," The group said as he walked over.

He smiled and laughed, forgetting about Madison and the morning.

Jenni watched Madison as she walked into the band hallway. Something wasn't right. Madison didn't have her normal joyful glint in her eyes.

Madison walked past various groups of band members and put on a fake smile, nodding to them when they would call her name.

Jenni stood up as Madison walked over and hugged her.

Madison bit her lip and blinked away tears. She sniffled.

Jenni patter her back. "Mads, don't cry," She told her as she looked at her. Jenni led her into the band room, and then through it to get behind stage. Madison pinched her nose. Jenni looked at her until Madison looked like she was ready to talk.

She opened her mouth and then close it, not quite sure what to say. There really wasn't one specific reason why she cried…well maybe there was one.

"What is it?" Jenni said closing the lid over the keys on a piano and sitting on it.

Madison sighed and bit her lip again. "You're going to laugh at me," She chuckled. "I would laugh at me."

Jenni shrugged her shoulders and crossed her arms over her chest. "That's not new," Jenni studied her. "Hmm. Two guesses and I bet at least one, if not both, is right."

Madison walked into one of the two bathrooms to grab a wad of toilet paper, and then sat in the chair across from Jenni. "Okay, whatever. Go ahead and shoot," She brought her knees up on the chair and hugged them.

Jenni got up and paced back and forth. "Guess A, something to do with your family…" She stopped in front of her. "Guess B, Mister Nate Schmitz," Jenni smirked; she didn't even need Madison to answer.

Madison glared at her. "He makes me so angry sometimes. It's gotten so complicated it's not even funny anymore."

Jenni walked over and kneeled next to her.

"He used to care so much. And then we decided that there might be too much drama if anything was to happen between us," Madison stopped and changed positions. "What if we just made it so it could get more complicated?...what if he doesn't care as much. He moved on. I don't want him to move on. I want him here. With me…"

Jenni walked to the door to look at the time…but the warning bell stopped her. Jenni looked over at Madison. "We should probably head to homeroom now. You coming?"

Madison stood up. "Yeah. I'll leave in a few. You go. I don't want to make you late."

Jenni gave her a sympathetic look and walked away.

Madison went into the bathroom and checked her makeup, hoping that it didn't look as bad as she felt. She stared at her reflection and sighed. At least it didn't look like she had been crying…too bad.

Madison left and walked to her homeroom. She opened the door as her name was being called. "Madison Dahl?" The teacher, Mrs. Smithson said.

"I'm here, Mrs. Smithson, I had to talk to Mr. Wilson for a minute," She told her, even thought she hadn't even seen Mr. Wilson. Madison saw Corri Bailey, Derek's sister, and took the empty seat next to her.

Even though Corri wasn't in the marching band, people always thought she was. Most of her friends (not to mention her older brother) were in the band, and it seemed like she was always around…except during practices, obviously.

Corri looked at Madison, confused. "Hey. You look so gloomy. What's up?"

Madison looked at her. "It's too complicated…" She was interrupted by the announcements.

Corri rolled her eyes and looked back at Madison.

"I'd rather not talk about it again. I broke down once this morning. And I don't want to again, besides, I need time to think about it in my head," Madison reached for her bag and pulled out a pack of gum offering Corri a piece.

Corri took one and put it in her pocket. She watched the announcements for a couple of minutes before turning back to Madison again. "So we still have math with Derek and Nate and that Jared kid, can you believe it?"

Madison sighed as the bell rang again. "I wish I didn't have to go to math," She said as they walked out of the room, both heading in the same direction even though they were in different classes.

"But math is your best subject!"

Madison shot her a look.

Corri returned her look with a confused one. But then thought a minute when she caught the look on Madison's face when they passed Nate and Derek. "Oh…oh!" Corri said. "Nate!" She whispered to Madison.

Madison nodded her head and walking in the other direction.

'Thank God the first day is a half-day," She thought to herself once she sat down in her English class.

First and second block (modified of course) had passed quickly…and third block, math, had arrived before Madison would have liked.

She stood outside the classroom, waiting for Corri, but reached out for Jenni as she past.

Jenni, clearly not expecting it to be Madison pulled her arm free before looking at who it was.

Madison frowned at her. "Jenni! I have math…with Nate!" She bit her lip, unsure of what she tough about the situation.

Jenni looked back at her. "Just don't worry about it. I don't mean to be…mean, but my class is all the way down there. Gotta run!" She told her as she speed walked away.

"Thank for everything, Jenni, it's help me loads," Madison mumbled to herself. She looked around the hall and realized that she, more than likely, missed Corri and walked into the room.

Corri waved to her from a corner where she was sitting with Derek, Nate, and a group of their friends.

Madison cursed under her breath. She put on a smile and walked over. With only one seat open, across from Nate, Madison opted to share a chair with Corri.

Nate looked up at the board to see what the teacher had written and then gave Madison a confused look. Once he realized that she hadn't look at him once, he got up, walked over to her, and squatted next to her. "Mads…" He whispered.

"I don't want to talk about it, okay," She whispered back before laughing at something Derek said.

Nate waited a few minutes before talking to her again. "I'm still taking you home though, right?"

Madison took out her agenda and wrote down what she needed for the class. The bell rang and Madison turned to Nate. "I guess so," Madison picked up her bag and walked out the door.

Nate walked beside her. "What, may I ask are you doing?"

"Waking you to class," He shrugged his shoulders.

"No, you're not," She stopped walking.

"Why not?"

"Because. You have gym down there," She pointed to the right. "And I have health _all_ the way down there," This time she pointed to the left.

"Oh…yeah. Meet me at my car then," He told her as she walked away.


	3. three

Okay, so I'm yet again going against my personal rule of only posting once I have the next chapter written...but, I still don't have chapter four written. So I don't know how long it'll be until the next update.

But, I'm sick, so I didn't go to school today.  
PLUS, I'm posting...becuase...I caught my first double on rifle yesterday, I was so proud...since I just learned it that night. [So it was only a double and he wants fives by the end of the season or something, oh well...I'm still happy.

EmilyAnne.

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Chapter Three:

Final bell rang and Madison made her way to the band hallway, cutting through the auditorium and behind stage, and then through the band room, avoiding all of the other students in the hallways and most importantly…Nate.

She walked towards the unlockable practice room (…two years before a group of percussionists knocked off the handle, virtually making it unlockable) and put the books that she just got from her teachers on top of the unusable piano (…somehow keys had a way of mysteriously going missing.)

She sat down on the piano bench waiting for Jenni.

Madison pushed a piece of her hair out of her eyes and fingered the piano keys. As she hit an f minor chord, she cringed at the out of tuned notes. She jumped as she spotted Jenni staring at her through the window in the practice room door.

Jenni opened the door and threw her books in, missing Madison by nothing more than an inch. Madison mock-glared at her as she walked out of the room. Laughing, Jenni closed the door again.

"That was mean. And I was waiting for you," Madison told her.

Jenni shrugged. "And why exactly are you waiting for me? Isn't a certain Nate waiting for you? You know, that boy who happened to have taken you to school today?"

Madison shot her a look. "That's the reason I was waiting for you. What am I supposed to do on the ride home? Sit there and look out the window waiting for him to say something? Jenni, he tried to talk to me in math today…"

"Mads…"

"Shush, it's my ramble time." Madison cut Jenni off, but was then interrupted.

"Hey, Madison," Nate said putting his hand on her shoulder.

Madison closed her eyes as she bit her lip. She opened her one eye and turned around slowly.

Nate smiles at her. "It's raining, and I didn't feel like waiting outside for you. And then you were taking awhile, so I figured you'd be here."

Madison nodded slowly. "You could have waited _in_ the car, I know which is yours."

Nate shrugged. "Well, maybe I wanted to walk you. I can do that, can't I?"

Madison looked at Jenni and rolled her eyes. Jenni smirked and shook her head before walking out off the band room hallway.

Madison looked at Nate, and gave him a look. "Are we going?"

Nate rolled his eyes and put his arm around her shoulders leading her out of the hallway.

Madison smiled and hid it so Nate wouldn't see. Secretly, Madison had always wished that Nate would be the romantic type…but she knew he wasn't. He was in percussion. She was just lucky he was mature.

As they rounded the corner towards the front doors, she realized that he still had his arm around her, looking over at Nate, she took his arm and threw it off her shoulder.

Nate clenched his jaw as they walked towards his car; hastily he opened the door for her and then walked over and got in on his side.

Once they were both inside, he locked the doors and turned the ignition. Madison reached to turn on the radio but Nate stopped her.

"Dude, you need to stop with these mood swings…I don't understand you," He told her.

Madison looked at him. "Me? You just got a mood swing, too! Plus, you're the one who's confusing."

"What are you talking about, Madison?"

"You're always twisting things. And then there's the whole thing of when you say one thing to me and whenever you're around your friends, or anyone for that matter…it's like everything you ever said to me didn't matter, or you go and pretend like I mean nothing to you." Madison pinched the bridge of her nose, willing herself not to cry. "Like this morning. I swear, Nate, sometimes you're two different people. And I really don't know if I like that...

…Sometimes I don't know if I can do this anymore, and you're not helping me decide either way. It's like as soon as I make up my mind on whether to give up on you; you'll go and do something sweet. And then when I think that I should just go for it with you, you pull a jerk-move."

Nate looked out the window as he turned out of the parking lot, and then turned on the radio.

"See! There you go, Nate. You could at least something. I'm sitting here right next to you, practically crying…and you just sit there! Honestly, what'll it take? For you to see me with someone else? Will that get you pay attention to me? Will that get you to ask me out?" Madison asked him, hypothetically. "Just tell me. Because if that's what it takes, I'd be happy to do it. But just so you know, Nate. Once you lose me, I'm gone. I'm not some toy that's only going to be here when you need me. My life isn't a game that you can take, turn upside, screw me over, and then me go."

Nate looked over at her. "I'm sorry."

Madison looked at him and gaped. "You're…you're sorry."

He nodded. "Yeah, I'm sorry…"

Madison scoffed. "I can't believe it. You're seriously sorry. Nate…I can't believe all you said was 'I'm Sorry.' You didn't even _look_ me in the eye when you said it."

"I did, look at you when I said it! What else do you want me to say, Madison? I'm driving…Do you want me to pull over so we can have an in-depth conversation of how 'I don't care about you, yet I try so hard to show you that I really do like you. But you pull these mood swings.' Do you? Tell me now so I can pull into the mall parking lot."

Madison looked out the window.

Nate turned and headed in the direction of his house rather than Madison's. "Look, we'll go over to my house, talk, have lunch. Then I'll get ready and we'll take you home to pick up your guard stuff for practice. Is that fine with you, Miss Madison?"

Madison looked over at him. "Whatever," She told him simply, not really caring where they went.

Nate turned the radio on and switched the station to one that played more upbeat songs. Madison rolled her eyes and pulled out her iPod and the cord to connect it to his radio. She picked one of her favorite songs and put it on, blasting his radio.

He laughed and turned the volume down so that you couldn't hear it twenty feet away.

Madison pouted at him, which made him laugh.

"You're so cute when you pout," He mumbled, not that she would have been able to have heard him even he had said it in his regular tone of voice.

Madison smiled at him, glad that their argument was finished…for now, and happy that she was going over Nate's.

'…Boy, maybe I do have mood swings,' Madison thought to herself, knowing that she would never say it aloud and never giving Nate the satisfaction of knowing that he was right.


End file.
